OK, we’re not actually shopping for a husband, but let’s chat about what’s important in your future mate. Grab your favorite pen and some paper—you’ll need it. It’s important to realize that we’re not in a hurry during this adventure. A potential husband will come to the one who waits for the best timing and the one who fits the list and God’s criteria.

Make Your Checklist
List the qualities you want in a husband. Be careful not to describe your current crush or your favorite celebrity. Search your heart as you make this list, and pray about it. You have to live with this person until death do you part, so be brutally honest about yourself and your desires.

Some ideas are:
• He’s close with his family.
• He has brown hair.
• He’s a good conversationalist.
• He opens doors for me.
• He loves children.
• He plays a musical instrument.
• He volunteers at church.
• He likes to read.
• He chews with his mouth closed.
• He prays before meals.
• He’s a good driver.
• He plays a sport.
• He knows what he wants to be and has a plan for his life.
• He likes animals.
• He makes me laugh.

But Beware!
He has a relationship with God needs to be at the top of your list. Don’t be fooled by false advertising. A guy who claims to be a Christian isn’t good enough; neither is the guy who simply goes to church every week. Look for the one who lives out his personal relationship with God in the way he treats his family, his friends and strangers.
You can’t change him! That’s like buying a size 0 dress and planning to lose enough weight to fit into it. Odds are it ain’t gonna happen!

Now Think About You
Now list the qualities you need to develop to be the person God wants you to be. This is your game plan for staying true to yourself, setting boundaries for dating and, in the process, screening out potential husbands from all other guys who come your way. What’s important to you about yourself? These qualities should challenge you to be a woman after God’s heart.

Some ideas for your list are:
• I’ll dress respectfully.
• I’ll use clean language.
• I’ll play a sport.
• I’ll maintain relationships with my other friends.
• I’ll strive for good grades.
• I’ll respect and obey my parents.
• I’ll go on group dates only.
• I’ll keep my curfew.
• I won’t get involved in horizontal hanging out.
• I’ll finish college.
• I’ll read the Bible consistently.
• I’ll make wise music and movie choices.
• I’ll take notes in church.

If you find yourself compromising on your list because of a guy you’re with, move on! You can’t afford to be with a guy like that. If you’ve always loved playing basketball, and your date doesn’t want you to play, he’s not a good match. A potential husband won’t ask you to compromise your values, dreams or hobbies. He won’t ask you to spend what isn’t his.

Combining the Lists
OK. Now it’s time to use both lists. When you hang out with a guy, peruse him for the qualities on your list. Ask questions that will help you find out how he measures up. If you discover he doesn’t match, you know not to go out with him or to simply keep him as a friend. He’s not your future husband, but he may be someone else’s future husband. No sense investing your heart and his in a doomed relationship.

If he does fit the list, continue to date him, keeping a close eye on your list to make sure you’re staying true to who you are and growing as a woman. Read your lists often and make changes when you change. A year from now, ”Prefers Batman over Superman” may not seem too important, and you may want to add, ”Has a paying job.” Just be careful not to modify the list because of the guy you think is superdreamy.

Your purity, deepest secrets, hopes and dreams are for your husband. Sharing them with potentials you meet along the way isn’t fair to anyone. Keep your relationships with guys platonic until you find a match. Saving up for your marriage will be an investment you’ll always treasure.

Are You the Right One?
by Susie Shellenberger

Ask God now to help you start becoming the wife your husband will need. And pray for your husband! That may feel weird, because you don’t even know who he is yet, but you can still pray for him right now.

Here are some things to pray about for him:
• Lord, keep him close to You.
• Help him to fall more and more in love with You daily.
• Give him a tender heart.
• Protect him from evil.
• Keep him pure.
• Give him good Christian friends.
• Help him not to compromise.
• Give him a hunger for Your Word.
• Show him what to look for in a mate.
• Help him to keep You first in everything.

One More Thing
One of the most exciting things about having a relationship with Christ, is that He wants to take off you the burden of having to find someone. In other words, it’s really not your responsibility to find a husband. Leave that in God’s hands.

He created you and knows better than anyone who will make a great lifetime companion + best friend + lover + soul mate = husband for you. So go ahead and pray for your future husband, but leave it in God’s hands. Don’t try to make something happen on your own. The Creator of the universe has your best interests at heart. You really can trust Him!