Dear Susie:
People discuss how God talks to them. They say praise music makes them feel close to God. But I don’t get those feelings. I read my Bible every day. I know I’m saved. But I’ve never ever felt close to Him. Are people making stuff up, or am I abnormal? I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so lost.
Searching
Dear Searching:
One of the most essential things for you to know about your relationship with Christ is that it’s based on fact, not feeling! Check this out: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:32).
And take a peek at this: “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe” (Romans 3:22).
If you’ve confessed that you’re a sinner, repented of your sins and accepted God’s free gift of grace and forgiveness, and have a personal relationship with Him, you’re a Christian! That’s a fact.
You won’t always feel His presence; that’s OK. You don’t always feel the sun, but you know it’s there. While it’s wonderful to feel God’s presence, it’s not a necessity in your relationship with Him. Pray about it, though. Tell God you’d like to experience Him not only through faith but through some emotion as well. When you worship, concentrate on all He’s done for you—dying on a cruel cross so you could be forgiven, providing an eternal home for you, loving you even though you don’t deserve it—and bask in His presence.
Dear Susie:
I’ve recently heard of a new law here in South Africa that says we’re not allowed to kiss or hold hands unless we’re 17 or older. What are your views on this? I think it’s weird.
Bewildered
Dear Bewildered:
I don’t think it’s a sin to kiss, but I also believe too many girls give their kisses away too freely. Think about it: Each time you kiss a guy, you give a little of yourself away. Does that mean it’s wrong to kiss? No, it’s not a sin. But it does mean that your kisses are extremely valuable. So be incredibly selective about whom you choose to kiss, and let God help you with that decision! Never kiss simply to kiss.
Because I’m not a part of your culture, I can’t speak specifically to your situation in South Africa, but we checked with Focus on the Family’s affiliate office in South Africa, and they’re unaware of any such law.
Dear Susie:
I know that being a Christian is a blessing, but I don’t feel blessed. My parents don’t understand me, my older brother is in jail, and I just found out that my older unmarried sister had a miscarriage. I feel alone. I have trouble being kind and loving with all this hurt.
Not Blessed
Dear Not Blessed:
You say you don’t feel blessed. Blessings don’t always come with feelings. Do you have your eyesight? You’re blessed. Do you have the freedom to worship as you desire? You’re blessed. Do you own a Bible? You’re blessed.
What’s happening to your family doesn’t mean you’re no longer blessed; it means you’re struggling with some tough family issues. You feel alone, but take hope in the fact that God will never abandon you.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing a difficult time right now, but I encourage you to memorize 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. Read it every single day for one month. (By then, you’ll probably have it memorized.) And let me know if your perspective changes in a month’s time. We love you!
