OK, there isn’t really a “learn more about yourself” test here. But don’t worry, they’re online, in magazines, carved into trees, and your friends have forwarded 10,000 of them in the last second, covering any subject:

• “What kind of potato would you be?”

• “Too shy? Boy Crazy? Just look at your bangs!”

• “Seven things your socks say about who you’ll marry!”

Plus there are those surveys with a million questions like, “My favorite oatmeal is _____,” “Have you been chased by a goat?” and “When is the last time you cried, wanted to cry or saw someone cry and started crying?”

Guys just aren’t into this. (Unless questions include, “Which SuperMegaWarriorSkillz would you conquer every planet with?”) But many girls fill these out and excitedly compare answers.

Two words come to mind to describe what would happen if I approached my friends and blurted, “My favorite color is blue. What’s yours?”

Silent Blank Stare. (OK, three words.)

Guys and girls connect in totally different ways, and studies by smart people say most girls are way more into connecting. In fact, two girls from different sides of the world, with different languages, could sit in a room and become best friends in one hour. Two guys would reach the same point—by the time there are giant moon cities. Plus, girls talk about everything— especially in groups. They can spend hours on topics that guys will never talk about:

Fashion, shoes, hair, babies, their dream wedding* (plans, colors, what kind of ring), tan lines, who’s dating whom, favorite new bath products, how they are feeling, how “cute” anything is, bathing suits, personal details about their bodies. . . . This is a great mystery to guys.

I’ve been around my wife, Sally, when she’s with her sisters. My first thoughts are usually:

A. I would never tell anybody that!

B. Why can’t I invent a secret dance that makes me magically disappear?

Of course, girls are just as amazed that guys can spend hours together and barely talk—yet bond. “Meaningful conversation” might equal, “The Steelers defense looks tired.”

The difference is, for many girls, talking equals having fun. Sally recently spent a weekend with some girlfriends, and they stayed up past 3 a.m.—talking. At 3 a.m. a group of guys would:

A. Be watching a brainless movie where someone sits in goo, keeps falling off a roof or accidentally drives home with a walrus.

B. Resemble an explosion at the crash test dummy factory.

C. Communicate using only body noises.

Some girls are like Relationship Olympians even when they’re alone! Sally’s youngest sister can check two e-mail addresses, text, chat with “friends” on Facebook, talk on the phone and keep 45 different IM windows open at the same time.

God created all of us for relationship, but we definitely don’t build them the same way.

Sure, I enjoy deep conversations, but after a while I drift into this dream where I have to fight a room full of sports’ mascots. Hey, I bet there’s a quiz about daydreaming. I might learn something I can share with my friends! On second thought, I’ll give it to Sally, and she can take it.

* Many guys won’t be able to explain their dream wedding, even while it’s happening.