By the time you were 5 or 6 years old, your personality traits had already formed. Your family life was your first classroom of learning how to behave in the world. The ways your family members reacted to you and treated you painted a picture in your mind. The picture was of yourself and who you are.

It was from your family that you learned how boys and girls are supposed to act and how youngest, middle and oldest children are to behave. You learned your role so well that you will live it the rest of your life.

Taking the Lead
If you’re the oldest child or an only child, your mom and dad were inexperienced parents when you were born. Everything you did from your first step to your first word was new and wonderful. You were often disciplined, but given lots of attention and praise.

Because your parents had high expectations, you likely became a responsible leader. Many of our presidents were oldest children. For example, Presidents Lyndon Johnson, Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter were all firstborns. Twenty-one of the first 23 astronauts were oldest or only children, too.

Keeping the Peace
If you’re a middle child, you can probably tell stories about your family photo album. There are around 300 pictures of your oldest sibling, about 100 pictures of your youngest sibling, but only 10 pictures of you, right? Some middle children say their parents even forget their names from time to time (unintentionally, of course!).

Because middle children can feel overlooked at home, they often go outside the family to find acceptance. They are often the social and popular members of the family. They are well-liked because they are friendly and they accept people.

Because middle children need to get along with the youngest and oldest siblings, they may become good peacemakers. Martin Luther King, who led the struggle for civil rights, was a middle child. He spoke for peace, nonviolence and love.

Stealing the Stage
If you’re the youngest child, you’re the baby and a special member of the family. Parents usually expect less from their youngest child, whose first step and first word may almost go unnoticed. Youngest children are often fearless risk takers because they are always trying to prove they are just as strong and capable as their older brothers and sisters.

As the youngest, you received lots of attention as everyone took care of you. You learned early on that you couldn’t compete with your older, stronger siblings, so you got your way by being cute and funny.

A study of famous American women found that lastborns are often in the performing arts — singers, actresses, etc. Goldie Hawn, a youngest child, was always fun-loving. When asked what she would like to be when she grew up, Goldie would say, "Happy!"

When It’s All Said and Done
There isn’t much you can do now to change the way you were raised or the way you felt when you were a small child. However, learning about the factors that make you feel and act the way you do today will help you understand yourself for a lifetime.

Check with your friends to find out their birth orders. (Research says we have a tendency to be friends with people of the same birth order.) Compare notes with your friends. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone — other people have had very similar experiences and feelings as you.

Your challenge is to recognize your positive characteristics and to make the most of them. It doesn’t matter if you’re the oldest, youngest or the one in between, you have unique qualities that make you special!

Learn More About Yourself
Here are characteristics of people of various birth orders. Check them out and see which ones apply to you. Remember, your birth order doesn’t define you, but the following characteristics may offer insight to why you act the way you do.

Oldest and only children can be
Perfectionists
Worriers
Leaders
Competent
Good students
Hard workers, conscientious
And they may
Have trouble accepting others’ mistakes
Put pressure on themselves
Overcommit

Middle children can be
Intensely loyal
Competitive
Friendly
Well-liked, popular
Able to deal with all kinds of people
Patient and tolerant
And they may
Try to live in harmony with the world

Youngest children can be
Easy-going
Willing to see another point of view
Spontaneous
Risk takers
Cheerful, fun-loving, optimistic, playful and adventurous
Good team players
And they may
Sometimes resent authority